Heart and Mind
by storytime00
Summary: When Alex's parents are sent to prison, she is believes that she is more than prepared to take care of herself and her sister Angie. She has done it successfully for years. Yet, as a new chapter in her life unfolds, one without abusive parents but with a whole lot of other challenges, she needs the help of the team, and especially Reid, to get through it in one piece.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Welcome to the first chapter of _Heart and Mind_! I'm excited for this story and I hope you will be too. Please tell me if you like the story and what you think!

Prologue

I was shivering in the drafty hallway but was still too afraid to knock on the door. In leaned in close to the peep hole but could see nothing but distorted light. He was either awake, or unable to sleep in the dark. I couldn't decide which I preferred. 

I fiddled wildly with the hem of my shirt with my right hand and held my left up to the door, poised to knock. 

Downstairs I heard a door swing open and then shut hard and the dancing in my hands spread to my feet. I anxiously fiddled for a moment longer before making my decision. 

I brought fist lightly against the door and stepped back. 

I grew more anxious by the second. There was no sign of movement from inside. I knocked harder this time. 

A muffled shuffling sound came from behind the door. I shoved my hands in my sweater pockets in anticipation. The door swung open. In the door stood a tall but slight man, his hair tucked behind his ears. 

"Alex?" 

* * *

Present  


"Alex, you can talk to us. Your parents are going to jail. They can't hurt you anymore." 

I was so exhausted I couldn't think. My head was pounding. The glaring light bore into my eyes and caused tiny stabbing sensations with every throb. 

These people didn't understand and they would be in my life for all of a few hours. I had a lot more hours than that to go in my life and I felt like getting on with it. 

I still didn't know where I would be spending the night or the night after that. I didn't know where my sister was at that moment and I didn't know how I was suppose to take care of her when I they insisted on holding me here. 

Here. Where was here? Everything within that little room was generic. Folding chairs, folding table, a long mirror to my right. Everything was white and drenched in light. A man with dark hair and eyes sat before me. He didn't mean to be imposing but he was. He knew it was in everyone's best interest to be kind to me but I couldn't buy it. 

I pressed two fingers to each eye and tried to block out the damn light. My mouth scrunched up with my squinting eyes. 

"We'll put them away but, your testimony will be such a big help. We can help each other." 

It was all I could do to brace myself against the sound of his words. Focusing on them was out of the question. Answering him was laughable. 

I kept my eyes squinted shut and moved my index fingers to each temple. I felt the lump of each pulse squeeze by. I pressed gently over it to slow the rate of liquid pain to my head. 

I felt him shift. 

"Do you need anything? Water, food, anything?" The man asked kindly. I was hungry. I hadn't eaten in 24 hours, hadn't drank in half that but I shook my head. My stomach was knotted so hard that eating was unthinkable. 

I opened my eyes slightly and stared at the man's shoulder instead of looking him in the eye. He leaned back and glanced at the mirror. I followed his gaze but saw nothing. 

"Well," He said. "There's no rush. To be honest, the only reason we're keeping you is because we are unable to find a place for you and your sister to stay. If you'd be more comfortable, you can hang out in the office." I thought for a moment. Angie was out there somewhere, probably with a nice FBI agent playing candy land. I hated it, but I was in no state to be helping her. I shook my head again. 

"Alright. I'll be out there if you decide you want to talk. Just ask for Agent Hotchner. And feel free to come out and read a magazine." I nodded. 

When he didn't move, I shut my eyes again to hint to him that I wanted him out. He sighed and stood up. 

"I'll send someone in with something to keep yourself busy." He said. I heard him head for the door and leave. With him gone, I felt myself relax a little. I was no longer on the spot. I folded my arms on the table and buried my head in them. My hair was a tangled mess and my fingers caught in the snarls. I hated feeling unclean. At this point, you'd think I'd be used to it. 

I heard the door click open softly. There were no approaching footsteps. No movement at all. The silence of the stranger brought shivers to my neck. 

"May I come in?" The voice was male but gentle, very unassuming. It was as if the stranger believed I was sleeping and actually cared if I was woken up. At this I lifted my head. Who here would ask my permission for such a thing? The light assaulted my eyes and I was forced to avert them for a moment before looking again at the open doorway. 

The man that stood before me was much slighter than the one before. He wore an odd, brown corduroy suit unlike any I had ever seen. His watch was clasped over his sleeve and his socks didn't match. I squinted at him, completely forgetting myself. 

He shut the door behind him. In his right hand he held a deck of cards and a few magazines. 

"Should I dim the lights?" He asked, seeing me squint. 

I nodded and he did as I indicated. I was finally able to open my eyes fully. My head still pounded but the stabbing sensation had been relieved. The man dropped the items on the table and sat across from me. He did not bother to scoot in his chair. 

His hands went immediately for the deck of cards. He removed them from the box and skillfully shuffled them, allowing the cards to bend and fan and flip. "What do you play?" He asked, without looking up from his work. 

"I only know poker." I said. It did not occur to me that that was the first thing I had said in hours. I saw the tiniest of smiles play across his lips. His eyes flickered toward the mirror. 

"Perfect." He said, and he began to deal me in. "My name is Dr. Spencer Reid." 

* * *

We played several games. I didn't know the time but it had to be late. Angie would be getting tired soon. Dr. Reid did not ask me questions about my parents. Instead he asked me about school, and my friends. I answered him briefly. Despite not feeling like talking, I felt an illogical desire to please him. 

Agent Hotchner returned after some time. Dr. Reid and I both looked up. 

"We were unable to find an available foster family for you to stay with. Unfortunately, you will have to spend the night in a group home." 

I shrugged. I had been to a group home before. I pretended my parents had up and left me and stayed there when I couldn't bare to be home. It wasn't far from the truth anyway. It was easier to keep Angie safe in a group home than it was at home so she was used to it. 

"We were able to find a temporary foster family for your sister though." I stood up abruptly and shook my head. 

"No. Angie stays with me." I said. Dr. Reid scratched his head thoughtfully and Agent Hotchner took a breath. "That's really not an option. You are still a minor. You do not have legal control over your sister and at this time, the state has deemed it is best she stays with this family, just until we find a more permanent home for the two of you." 

I shook my head but stared at the floor, loosing conviction. There was nothing I hated more than feeling like everything was out of my hands, powerless. I drew in a harsh, shuddering breath. I tried to reason with myself. This is the city. It's not the same suburb where Angie and I had lived our whole lives. I had no idea what to expect. Did I really want to figure it out with my 6 year old sister? 

It might have been several minutes before I spoke again. "I want the phone number and names of the family members." Agent Hotchner nodded. 

"Of course." 

"And when I'm back here tomorrow, I expect her right there." I said pointing to the chair just outside the door. I was in no position to make demands but I didn't give a crap. Agent Hotchner nodded again. 

"She will be. I'll see to it." 

"Good." I said. 

"There is a car waiting for you out front. The driver will take you to the group home. He will be waiting for you again in the morning at 10 o-clock. I'm counting on you for your cooperation." He said. I felt a weight in his last sentence. He was doing me a favor, and now I had to do him one. I had to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here's chapter 2. As always, I appreciate your comments and follows! WARNING: There is a brief, non-graphic scene of sexual assault in the first part of the chapter. 

* * *

"Here you, Alex. You're in here with Merissa, Lauren, and Ashley. They're in the kitchen helping clean up dinner but you'll meet them soon." I gave a slight smile to the woman called Sarah. She looked tired and bored but she wasn't a complete witch at least. 

"No boys are allowed in the girls rooms an no girls are allowed in the boys rooms. Got it?" She said. "Yes." I didn't have a problem with that. "You know where to find me." 

The woman left, leaving me in the room alone. There were two sets of bunk beds. Three looked as though they had been slept in recently. There were very few personal items but I identified my bottom bunk and sat down on it. I had nothing to put away but that was for the better. It could be stolen anyway. 

A minute later, several girls came prancing in. They were pulling a tall, brown haired boy and a shorter blond boy with them. I rolled my eyes. Typical. I grabbed a bible off the nightstand and pretended to read it just to look busy. I wasn't even religious. 

It took several minutes before anyone noticed me. The girl the others called Merissa noticed me first. 

"Who are you?" 

"Alex." I said. 

"You hungry? Thirsty? Tired? Anything?" Merissa asked. Something felt off about the way she said it. She wanted something from me. I was suddenly very conscious that all these other kids I didn't know were between me and a way out. I shrugged. 

"You'll have to talk to Brian about that." She said, and gestured to the taller boy. The way he held his shoulders suggested that he was naturally an alpha male. I was not liking the way this conversation was going. 

"Unless you plan on not moving from that spot until whenever you're leaving, you're going to have be hazed in first." That was absolutely it. I stood up with my own shoulders squared and ready. 

"You shouldn't be here." I said directly to Brian and the other boy. Brian advanced on me. He stood right in front of me, his face in mine, but not touching me. He moved suddenly, grabbing me by the arms and forcing me back. He had the upper hand in a split instant before I could move. 

He shoved his face into mine and tried to kiss me with harsh motions. His hand grabbed for places it wasn't allowed to grab. I brought my knee up hard between his legs and he backed off immediately, wincing. 

"Do I need to call Sarah or are you going to leave?" I said. No one moved for a long moment. It was too long. 

"Sarah!" I shouted. 

The boys immediately began to back away to leave. 

"Ok! We're going. Crazy B-" He stopped short when Sarah appeared in the doorway. 

"What's going on?" She said. "Boys, go to your room please. Is everything alright?" The other girls looked at me anxiously but for some reason gave me the call on what to tell Sarah. 

"Yes Ma'am." I said firmly. Sarah nodded curtly and left. I turned to the other girls, my arms wide as I walked back to my bed, in case any of them still had a problem. They didn't stop me. 

* * *

The driver dropped me off at the front door of the FBI. "Just sign in and get a visitors pass. Then go to level 3." I leaned my head in through the window. "Thanks." I said. 

When the elevator dinged to level 3 and the doors slid open, I immediately saw Angie. She wrapped her spindly arms around her legs but she looked no worse for wear. 

I hurried straight to her and stood on my knees to get a better look. Her blond, bobbed hair had been brushed. She had on a grey t-shirt dress with netting that formed a tutu. I had never seen it before. 

"How are you? They treated you good, didn't they?" I asked anxiously. She nodded vigorously and opened her arms wide for a hug. I squeezed her in and considered my half of the bargain. Talking. 

When she finally pulled away, I found Agent Hotchner standing over us. 

"As promised." He said as a slight smile stole onto his face. I stood up. "Thank you." 

"Are you willing to discuss your parents now?" He asked. I wish he hadn't put it like that. It made me feel like I was betraying them. I squeezed Angie's hand once more and nodded. 

He gestured for me to follow him. "I'm going to take you to the interrogation room only because we have cameras set up there. It will be useful for evidence." I grimaced. Evidence. Perfect. We entered the interrogation room, the camera blinking and taking in my every move. He closed the door and we sat down at opposite sides of the table. 

"So, start from the beginning." Agent Hotchner said. I took a deep breath and began. 

* * *

When Agent Hotchner left, Dr. Reid came in leading Angie by the hand. 

"She was getting anxious." He explained. He leaned against the door frame in another corduroy suit and watched as Angie ran to me. I scooped her up and set her in my lap. 

"They found a foster home for the two of you." He mused. I grinned and scuffed Angie's hair. 

"Hear that? We can be together again. Just like that." I snapped my fingers to show her how speedy it was. 

"If you ever need us, this is my card. You can call anytime. Literally, anytime. I don't sleep." I laughed, finally in a good mood and took the card. I pocketed it and hoped I wouldn't need it.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! We'll have a lot more of Reid, as the prologue in the first chapter suggested, once the stage has been set. I'll begin to introduce what happened with Alex's parents in the coming chapters. Stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** This chapter is short, ever so short. It's OK though, because good news! We hear from Reid next chapter.

WARNING: This chapter contains a semi-graphic depiction of rape. I will avoid this in the future but for this reason, the first part of this chapter may be considered rated "M". If you wish to skip this, then go down to the next horizontal line after this one. 

* * *

**One week after being fostered.**

When my foster dad came into my room, I knew something bad was going to happen. It wasn't necessarily because of him but, because of the shudders I got. The first night, it was just a good night from the door. The next time it was a hug, then a kiss, then he started getting touchy-feelly. I didn't even notice until after the fact. I almost had expected it. Something was different now though. 

I started to panic when things started coming off. My knees shook so hard it showed through the blanket. You can get use to the flirting and wrongness of a sexual predator. You can't get used to rape. 

I hadn't been forced into intercourse for three weeks. It felt like a millennium ago. Like I had been pooped out the good side of a rainbow. That feeling ended a little too quickly. 

I felt the explosion of pain and pressure. The bruising pain on my thighs and chest didn't even register. There was a horrible shuddering against me and I felt sick. 

* * *

I washed once all other in every nook and cranny. Then I washed again for good measure. The third time was just to make sure. By the fourth time, it was a game that worked surprisingly well at keeping my mind busy. How many times in a row had a person ever washed? 4 times had probably been done before. 5? Less likely. But 6, that would be crazy. 7 would be even crazier. By 8, I was done with the game. It wasn't working anymore and it was starting to hurt in and of itself. I got out of the shower. 

Once in my room, I locked the door. I balled up my sheets and blankets and threw them in the corner. Something caught my attention. A small white card had fluttered to the floor and I remembered. I picked it up and flicked it over. Dr. Spencer Reid. I had kept his card under my pillow mostly to make sure my foster parents didn't throw it away. God knows neither of them would be making my bed anytime soon. 

I stared at the number. Should I call it? Why bother though. It's not like I could tell him what had just happened. All it takes is for my foster dad to convince social services that I had come onto him and I would never be fostered again. Not to mention what he could do to Angie if he felt like getting back at me over a failed investigation. 

Angie was at a friends house. Unlike me, she made friends easily. I took a deep breath and made a decision. Where's the phone book? 

* * *

I was shivering in the drafty hallway but was still too afraid to knock on the door. In leaned in close to the peep hole but could see nothing but distorted light. He was either awake, or unable to sleep in the dark. I couldn't decide which I preferred. 

I fiddled wildly with the hem of my shirt with my right hand and held my left up to the door, poised to knock. 

Downstairs I heard a door swing open and then shut hard and the dancing in my hands spread to my feet. I anxiously fiddled for a moment longer before making my decision. 

I brought fist lightly against the door and stepped back. 

I grew more anxious by the second. There was no sign of movement from inside. I knocked harder this time. 

A muffled shuffling sound came from behind the door. I shoved my hands in my sweater pockets in anticipation. The door swung open. In the door stood a tall but slight man, his hair tucked behind his ears. 

"Alex?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Yay, Reid is back! Please review guys, I'm getting antsy over here!

The lying started before I even got in the door and it continued all through the night. I needed a place to stay, not therapy. 

"Alex?" Dr. Reid asked. I offered a weak smile. "Yeah." He stood there with his mouth open for too long. I stared at my shoes instead of his questioning face. 

"What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" He asked when he got a handle on himself. I scratched my head. God, this was a really _dumb_ idea. I spoke up before I could loose my nerve. "I wanted to say thank you for everything you did for me last week." My voice came out confident and strong. I almost didn't recognize myself because I was still shaking on the inside. 

He furrowed his eye brows like he didn't recognize me either. The girl he had met last week would barely speak out loud, never mind show up at his house to volunteer for a 'thanks so much, I owe you one' speech. He tapped the door frame with his long fingers in a rippling motion. The moment was painfully awkward. 

"Ok. You're welcome." He said bluntly though not unkindly. I could have just called to tell him that and he knew it. I struggled to think of an excuse for him to let me come in. 

"I also was wondering if you wanted to pick up where we left off with our poker game." I said finally. 

"Are you sure?" He said. I was taken aback. At this point I would rather take my chances on the streets than continue this conversation. 

"Because I was winning." He finished. I stared at him blankly, not feeling the humor. A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth but he quickly stopped it. He gestured for me to enter and this time I didn't hesitate. I was in. 

He offered me tea and I took it. It wasn't until we sat down on a comfy old sofa and chair and he began to deal the cards did I notice the time. The clock face on the wall displayed 11:30 pm. I didn't even feel tired. I was still reeling from the night's prior events. 

"I'm sorry," I said at my discovery of the time. "I didn't realize how late it was." I noticed that instead of wearing his corduroy suit the way he did when I saw him at the bureau, he wore a t-shirt and plaid pants. Judging by the large pile of open books he had pushed aside to make room for us though, he hadn't been about to go to sleep. 

"That's alright. I do most of my best thinking at night anyway." That made me feel worse but I didn't say so. I picked up my cards. It was a crappy hand. 

"Did your foster parents drop you off?" He said in a way that suggested he was trying to pry without being too obvious. Perhaps subtly wasn't his strong suit. 

"Yes." I said immediately, figuring it was the best answer. Wait, what would they be doing driving around the city in the middle of the night? "No." I said, sounding equally as sure as I had the first time. 

"Which is it?" 

"No. I was at a café with a friend for a few hours and I thought I'd stop by." The lies were mounting. 

"You like your foster parents?" He asked carefully. I nodded without hesitation. "Do you miss your parents?" He asked a little more quietly. I shrugged. "I guess." 

He pulled a few paper poker chips into his own pile. I threw down my cards. "I forfeit." I said, anxious to change the subject. He leaned back and stretched. 

"Maybe you should get home. I'm sure they're worried about you." I shook my head. "They won't be. Deal another hand." I knew I was being pushy but I didn't care. 

I felt Dr. Reid staring at me as I lowered my head. He sighed after a moment and dealt the cards. 

I glanced around the room in search of a topic other than me. "You have a lot of books." I said and I meant it. Bookcases lined the wall and books were stacked in various other odd locations. He nodded. "I guess. So you're going to therapy and everything, right?" He asked, undeterred. 

"Yeah. Tuesdays." I said. "Is that enough? You have some serious issues that I think you need to talk through." 

"Serious issues?" I asked expressionlessly. It was incredible how utterly unconnected I could be with reality when I was with him. Thoughts of all bad things were forgotten. Almost. Dr. Reid looked up at my lack of acknowledgment of what had happened with parents. 

"Yeah. Your dad molested you and then pimped you out." He said incredulously. I flinched at his words of choice. "That doesn't just go away overnight." My knee started to bounce up and down and a seed of anger grew in my throat. "You have no right to bring that up. I'm doing fine and it's really none of your business." 

Dr. Reid set his cards face down and looked at his hands. "I'm sorry." He said and it sounded like he really meant it. "If you say you're fine, then you're fine." It felt like a little piece of my heart just stopped working and died. I kept my face blank. I knew I could never tell him what had happened just a few hours earlier with my foster dad but a part of me had hoped that the profiler in him would pick up on it anyway. 

"That's right." I said. So what if he couldn't get Angie and I out of the house for good? I might as well utilize him by visiting now. 

I looked at the clock. It was 12:15. I yawned pointedly. "Do you think I could crash here tonight? I don't think I want to go home so late." At this point, I didn't know if I could handle going back there. Dr. Reid hesitated. "I don't know." He said. "Please?" I begged. I curled over my lower lip and did my best pouting impression, something I hadn't done since I was 6. He rippled the cards unconsciously. 

"Fine." He said at last. I grinned and my bouncing knee finally got a rest.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** This is my longest chapter yet so I hope you like it. Let me know what you think! Oh, and we get to hear a bit about Reid's recent history which I think you will like...  
Warning: There are definite mentions of sexual abuse in this chapter. 

* * *

My legs were shaking so hard I could barely make it across the room. It hadn't gone unnoticed that I was gone the night before when I went to Dr. Reid's. When my foster dad, Curt, had come into my room 45 minutes ago, I was interrogated fiercely as he raped me again. It proved to be an ineffective interrogation technique. He demanded to know where I was and what I was doing and all the while made my skin crawl at his touch. I was with a friend, I told him. And I didn't tell them anything. It was true enough. He seemed to believe me. 

He kissed me up and down. _"I love you." _He had moaned, "_You're so beautiful." _I hated him for saying it. I didn't want to be beautiful to someone as ugly as him. 

I slid through my door clumsily and locked it from the outside with a paperclip. I was determined to not be caught this time. I went to Angie's room and found her cuddled with her stuffed dolphin, Dolphina, and a book. She looked up when she heard me enter but she didn't startle. Curt hadn't done anything to her. Yet. I sat on the edge of her bed without saying a word. I wrapped her in a hug and kissed the top of her head. I hated how repulsed I felt with myself kissing my little sister. She let me hug her for a moment but pulled away to look at me. 

"Why are you upset?" She asked, referring to my still shaking arms around her. I smiled lightly and shook my head. 

"I'm not upset." I said. Her innocent little eyes stared up at me and the worst part is she believed me. She believed me in spite of her own judgment telling her otherwise. My heart ached and I looked away. 

"I'm going to go visit a friend, OK? I need you to keep your door locked while I'm gone and you're not to let anyone in, even Curt or Diane." I wondered how audible the shaking of my voice was. In my own head, it sounded worse as it reverberated around. Angie squeezed her hands together the way she does when she's nervous. 

"I don't want you to leave." She said, tears brimming in her eyes. She didn't even try to convince me not to because she assumed I had a good reason. I took a deep breath. I had to keep my cool. 

"I'll be back in a couple hours. I'll come say goodnight when I get back but you shouldn't wait up for me." She sighed deeply. She didn't stop kneading her hands as she told me, "Alright." I gave her another squeeze and locked her door for her. She watched me as I slipped out her window. I hated myself for being so weak as to leave her in a house with the man who was the reason for my leaving. 

I slid the screen back in place and motioned for her to shut the glass of the window. When Angie was safely closed in, I stole my way down the street, the cold making me shiver as I went. 

* * *

To put it simply, Dr. Reid was pretty surprised to see me at his door again. He let me and went to make tea as he had before but I felt hesitancy in him as he skirted across to the kitchen. I lowered myself carefully to the couch and stood up jerkily at the pain. The soreness was starting to set in. I gave a furtive glance in his direction to make sure he hadn't seen. 

He came back in with the tea and handed me my mug. I set it down on the coffee table and was grateful when he gave me an excuse to remain standing. "Could you turn on the light behind you?" He asked. I nodded and did. When I turned back to him, he had an uncomfortable expression on his face. I immediately tensed. 

"What?" I said loudly. He averted his eyes away from me. He looked nauseous. "You're bleeding." He said tersely. I backed away quickly and headed down the hall in search of the bathroom. "First door on the left!" He called. 

My breathe came at an uncomfortably rapid rate as I tried desperately to clean myself up. All was not lost. I could just tell him it was my period and being a guy, he would believe me without question. I tried to push out of my mind how perceptive he had been in the interrogation when he had dimmed the lights for my eyes. 

I managed to wipe away most of the blood but my underwear and pants were still ruined. There was a light knock on the door and I haphazardly pulled my pants in front of me like I was wearing them. 

"I- I have some clothes for you." He said through the door. I didn't move or speak. He remained silent on the other side. "I'll just leave them here for you." He said eventually. I heard him place the clothes on the floor and step away. I waited a minute to make sure he was gone and then opened the door the tiniest crack. I snatched the bundle and drew my hand back in as though expecting it to be bitten before closing the door sharply. 

I blushed deeply when I saw the pair of boy-short undies. They still had the tags of them but I couldn't help but feel awkward as I pulled them on. I suppose it would have been worse if he had female underwear to loan me. I stuffed a paper towel down there just in case but I think that the bleeding had stopped. I started to pull on the sweatpants he had given me but stopped. Bruises were beginning to form on my thighs and just above my knees. I wouldn't be able to wear my gym shorts at school. 

I pulled the sweatpants on all the way and inspected my arms as well. Bruises were forming on my upper arms as well but my sleeves covered them. When I was sure I was thoroughly cleaned up, I crept back into the living room and eased myself onto the couch. Dr. Reid was no where to be seen. 

I looked around as I waited and my eyes landed on several shiny coins mounted on the wall. I stood up the get closer and read, '1 year sober'. They were lined up, one after another, 4 in total. I sucked in a breath when I heard footsteps down the hall. I quickly sat myself back down and picked up my now cold tea. I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him. 

"Are you alright?" He asked gently. I was prepared for the question but was caught off guard by the coins. "Uh, yes." I said, drifting off. "I mean, yeah, I didn't think I was getting my period for a couple more days." Reid hushed up quickly at that and I could see him blushing out of the corner of my eye. He edged over to the armchair. "Do you have everything you need?" He asked awkwardly. I nodded. "Yes." I said firmly. He left it at that and took my tea to warm it up. 

When he returned, he had left his shyness behind and offered me back my tea. I took it suspiciously. I wondered if I could even trust him. He hadn't told me he was an alcoholic. I knew plenty of people who were alcoholics and every one of them was unpredictable and dangerous. I glanced at the clock furtively. It was 10:30. I had promised Angie I would be back before it got too late. I began to suck down my tea. 

"So what brings you here again?" He asked finally. I stared into my mug. "I just felt like some company." I said. It was the most honest thing I had said to him a while. I tensed as soon as I realized what I had said and wondered if he thought I was trying to lead him on. He didn't seem to notice my slip though. Thank god. 

I remembered the times on the side of the road, my dad leaning casually against a building across the street as I leaned into the window of a stranger's car. "Would you like some company tonight?" Dad had told me to ask. Usually if they stopped, it meant that they did. If they were the type to pick up child prostitutes, it wasn't just company they wanted. That kind was like a whole other breed of man. They were harsher and did the job faster than they would with an older woman. Many of them would rarely look me in the eye. 

Dr. Reid narrowed his eyes. "Is everything at school alright?" He asked suspiciously. 

"Yeah. I started a couple days ago." That too was honest. I actually enjoyed being at school. Being there meant that Curt couldn't touch me and Angie was being taken care of simultaneously. Angie was in the first grade so she had a similar schedule to mine. I got home an hour earlier, being at the high school down the road. 

Dr. Reid seemed ready to believe me yet he his brown eyes were still full of concern. 

"When you want to talk about whatever it is," He said quietly, "don't be afraid to come to me." He may be FBI, but he was still human and people couldn't be trusted. Not until they thoroughly earned it. And he hadn't. 


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Another chapter:) Hope you all like it and let me know what you think! 

* * *

I hadn't gone to visit Dr. Reid in several days. If I didn't have to, I didn't want to. He apparently didn't think it was worth mentioning that he was an alcoholic. Not only that, but he actually kept the coins on the wall like monuments as though earning them was the hardest thing to do. To occupy my time, I wandered the city instead. I went out at 7 every night and didn't return until 11 so that Curt didn't have the chance to rape me. 

Every time I left, I gave Angie the same lecture: keep your door locked and don't let anyone in. When I had left that night, she got upset. I didn't blame her. She shouldn't have to lock her door just to feel safe. She hated that I was leaving her and she hated having to pee in her trashcan when she had to use the bathroom. She had begged me to stay because if I did, she could just stay with me and everything would be alright. Theoretically. 

Anger was screaming through me as I made my way aimlessly down the street. I didn't want to do this to her anymore. I let my feet scuff along the sidewalk even though I knew it would just ruin my shoes. I had my hands shoved in my pockets. They had to twist mercilessly at the inside fabric just to prevent me from having displaying a more visible sign of my frustration. 

It was getting dark. I should find somewhere safer to spend my time. The past few nights I had gone to the library, not to do my homework, but to just browse the books. I had started to read one of the books I had seen on Dr. Reid's shelf about chaos theory. I usually hated school but the book wasn't as dry as I thought it would be. I rounded the corner and found myself at the mouth of an alley way. 

Leaning on the building was a group of 3 boys and two girls. They were probably about 19 years old. My footsteps echoed off the walls and one of the boys looked at me. They were smoking something that I figured I didn't want to know. He had a slightly dazed look on his face and he smiled when he saw me. 

"Hey!" He called to me. I stopped and watched them, more out of curiosity than anything else. They each looked up briefly but decided I wasn't worth the attention. The boy though, taller than the others, meandered over to me. He looked me up and down like he was inspecting me. I stood my ground. Normally I would have just walked away and kept away from trouble but something made me stay. His eyes fell on a spot on my neck where a bruise had formed from the day before. He laughed at me and I instantly hated his nerve. 

"It looks like you could use a hit." He said with a drawling voice. I didn't bother to speak because it didn't matter what I said. I just shrugged my shoulders. He jogged back to his friends and had a short, heated conversation with a girl that was probably his girlfriend. She had a satchel draped over her shoulder and he gestured to it several times. Finally she seemed to give in the him and gave him access to the bag. The boy waved his hand, urging me toward them. 

I approached them warily. I knew I was being stupid. Beyond stupid. Yet somehow I didn't care. The boy held out a cigarette. "Take it." He said. It could be laced with anything. 

I took it anyway. 

He lit the cigarette for me and I sucked in. I had never smoked before but the smell was nothing new. I was hit with a wave of dizziness but I doubted he noticed. He was on something, heroin, marijuana; he was just being way too chilled out to be clean. 

I coughed a shuddering breath and he laughed. "You want something stronger?" He said. "Maybe we can work something out." A little bit of tension melted from my shoulders. I let clean air enter my lungs and shook my head. I had to return to Angie eventually. 

He shrugged. "Have it your way." 

* * *

He came home from work early, all special for me. When I slid out my door and closed it behind me, I froze. There was Curt, breathing down my neck. He was supposed to get home at 8, not 7. "I've missed you." He said softly. "Don't you miss me?" He brought a hand back around my neck. I swallowed hard. "No." I hissed. 

His hand tightened on my neck but not to choke me. "You don't mean that." He said loudly. He pushed himself on me. "I know you love me. You think I didn't notice how wet you were last time?" My face contorted. I couldn't help it. I ripped away from him sharply but he grabbed for my arm just as quickly. Inside I was shaking with fury. He was wrong. I hated what he was doing all the way to my core. He pushed his hips toward mine and I was paralyzed. 

Suddenly the door to our right swung open. Angie was leaving the bathroom but she stopped mid-step. She tilted her shoulders to one ear. She didn't say anything but her eyes suddenly started to glisten. 

I took the opportunity to skirt around Curt and pick her up. I placed her on my hip and carried her to her room, hushing her. When I heard Curt finally leave and the screen door swing shut, I returned to my room and looked for the scissors. 

* * *

I couldn't believe it but I found myself once again at Dr. Reid's. There was something comforting about being there. He hadn't done anything to hurt me yet and that was more than I could say about most other men, or people in general. I had to give him a chance to earn my trust because I was running out of alternatives. 

He was going to say something about my hair. I knew he would but I didn't care. I hoped he thought it was ugly. I ran my hand through it as I waited for him to answer the door. I hadn't seen it in the mirror but I knew it looked chopped and uneven. Perfect. It wouldn't make my neck sweat anymore. Even better. 

The door swung open and Dr. Reid stood in the door. He was wearing pajamas again and was looked disheveled as though he wasn't expecting me. 

He froze when he saw me; a jerky micro reaction that I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't expected it. He didn't say anything to me as he stepped aside to let me in. He looked anywhere but me when I brushed past him. 

He shut the door behind us and this time did not go for the tea. Instead he stood by the door with his hands in his pockets, still not looking at me. He decided to get it over with and point out the obvious. 

"You cut your hair." He said, not moving. 

"It's the new style." I replied and plopped back on the couch. My eyes flit unconsciously to the coins on the wall. I wished he would just sit down so he wasn't looming up there with me down here. 

"Really?" He said. "I haven't seen too many people with that cut." I shrugged. He bobbed up and down like he was nodding to himself. 

"Could you sit down? You're making me nervous." I complained. He continued to nod to himself but went to sit on the armchair across from me. 

He spoke frankly, finally looking up at me. "You're making me nervous too."


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Reid was staring me down and I became more uncomfortable with each passing second. The floor suddenly seemed very interesting. 

"I need to know what's going on." He said. He didn't say it like a question or like he was trying to coax me into talking. He said it like it was just fact. He allowed me time to respond to him, plenty of time, but I did not. 

"A lot has been changing for you." He said carefully. "But don't expect me to believe you're not relieved to be away from your parents. I heard the way you talked about them." I piped up immediately with illogical rage in my voice. 

"Don't put words in my mouth. You don't know how I feel!" I shouted, glaring at him with every ounce of cruelty I could muster. I didn't even stop to think about the fact that he had heard what I had said to Agent Hotchner about my parents. I had assumed that kind of information was supplied on a need-to-know basis. Apparently it was just another thing he had _failed to mention_ to me. 

"Why don't you tell me how you feel then?" 

"I feel like I hate you! That's how I feel. I've been at your house, how many times, and you haven't even asked me how I'm doing!" Dr. Reid didn't say anything for a moment. He just smiled very lightly. I realized I had let him lure me. I drove my fists into my own lap, wondering if I hurt myself, maybe he would take me seriously. 

"You're not angry at me, you're angry at yourself." He said with his infuriatingly throaty voice. 

"Stop telling me how I feel!" I shouted again. I was ready to continue my retort but he held up his hand in surrender. 

"You're right." He admitted. "I don't know how you feel and I certainly can't make you feel differently. I can however, speculate. It's my job to guess at how people are feeling and why they do the things they do, but at the end of the day it is just that, guess work." I could still feel my heart pounding in my chest but he had succeeded in shutting me up. 

"I think that you're angry at yourself," He continued, "because I have asked you how you are doing and you refuse to tell me." I opened my mouth to respond but he held up his hand again. "I'm sure there's a very good reason for this, but you still wish that you could have the guts to tell me whatever it is that's eating you." 

He was right to have stopped my interjection because I no longer had anything to say in response. I don't know how long it was that I sat there staring desperately into space trying to stop the flood of tears from falling. I held my eyes unnaturally wide for as long as I could but eventually it was too much. When the dam finally broke, the flood came and I couldn't control myself anymore. 

A horrible raspy gasp burst from my throat. No matter how hard I tried to silence myself, I could not. I bent my head forward, clutching the fabric of my pants tight in each fist, and cried. I could cry in front of the man but I couldn't tell him what was really happening, what the cause of my tears were. 

Dr. Reid stood up slowly and carefully and made his way to sit beside me. I covered my face better with my hands so he couldn't see the involuntary contortion of it. He placed his hand on my back and I flinched away from it lightly at first. I folded over my knees and he adjusted his arm over my back. At least in that moment I couldn't say he didn't care. 

* * *

I looked around nervously at the tall people, all in suits, surrounding me in the elevator. I felt utterly out of place and found myself big-time second guessing myself. Dr. Reid had invited me to spend a few hours at the office after school that day. I arranged for Angie to stay with a friend and it was done. 

He claimed it would be an opportunity for me to meet with an attorney who was representing the plaintiff side against my mother and father. Their cases were to be tried separately. My mother had been charged with endangerment of minors, neglect, and dug possession and use. My father would be charged with the same with the addition of child molestation, and forcible prostitution of minors, plural. 

Dr. Reid said that it was in everyone's best interest if I agreed to present myself as a witness. Having had a few weeks to calm down after the initial arrest, I was feeling more up to doing it. Secretly, I think he was just trying to keep an eye on me, not that I minded. It was nice to have someone looking out for me for once. 

I relieved to step out of the elevator when it finally dinged. Dr. Reid was waiting for me when I got out and he guided me to a private room. A woman in a formal pant suit was waiting for me. He smiled encouragingly. I took a deep breath and allowed her to shake my hand. 

* * *

When I finally emerged from the interview with the attorney I looked around for Dr. Reid. I could not immediately find him so I wandered awkwardly across the office, wondering if anyone would stop me and ask what on earth I was doing there. 

I looked up along the half flight of stairs to a partial level and I saw him talking to Agent Hotchner. A dark haired woman stood with them, cocking her hip and listening. I started to make my way toward them but stopped when I heard my name. 

"-Alex and her sister. Something not right is going on in that house, Hotch." Agent Hotchner brought his hand to his brow like it gave him a headache. "I don't know if we can. Social services has already conducted their routine check-in a week ago and we have no grounds for the warrant required to do an additional investigation." 

I could sense Dr. Reid getting agitated, a side of him I had not yet seen. "Hotch," he said, lowering his voice. "You should have seen her yesterday. She cut off most of her hair. Profiling 101, you hate yourself on the inside and you change your appearance to match." 

"She could just be having a hard time adjusting to her new school." The brunette suggested. Dr. Reid shook his head. "Emily, you don't understand. You weren't there." 

Agent Hotchner interjected. "When did you see her?" Dr. Reid kneaded his lips together. 

"I told you, yesterday. She's come to my apartment a few times." Hotch raised his eyebrows and ran his hand through his hair. He seemed to cave. "I she tells you anything specific, then let me know. Keep an eye on her, try to open her up. If she-" I felt a hand on my shoulder and I spun around. A pretty blond woman stood before me. 

"Hi," She said gently. "My name is Agent Jareau. Are you looking for somebody?" I gawked for a moment, horribly conscious that I had been blatantly eavesdropping. 

"Uh, yeah." I managed. "We met two weeks ago, didn't we? I hear you and your sister been placed in a foster home. How is that going?" It felt like a rhetorical question. "Fine." I stammered. She removed her hand from my shoulder and I relaxed slightly. 

"Sorry," She said. "Who is it that you were looking for?" "Dr. Reid." I said. I felt a warm feeling in my stomach as I said his name but was so utterly confused, I couldn't be sure why. 

* * *

**A/N:** So what do you think? Do you like that the rest of the team was more involved in this chapter? See you next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**3 Days Later  
**

I was smiling as I made my way home. Smiling. It was one o-clock in the morning and it was hours past when I told Angie I would be home. The funny thing was, I didn't give a damn. 

I had been out for my usual walk and again had found that group of teenagers in an alley by the library. They had the same stupid grins on their faces and were messing around with each other; playing dumb kissing games and swearing. They were high but I let them draw me in for the second time. 

They had given me a cigarette and this time I was better able to stomach it. They gave me another and everything started to get a little foggy. I couldn't help but join in on their laughter, their excessive friendliness, their game. It never occurred to me that they had slipped me something. 

I let myself get cuddly with the boy and for the first time, it actually felt good to be kissing someone. It felt good in the way that I couldn't keep the grin off my face or the giggles from forcing their way through my nose in a snorting laughter. They didn't judge me or ask me questions about my hair or anything else. It was just so easy to be in that alley with them in that moment. It felt care-free. 

By the time I found my way to my window I was feeling sick. It hardly seemed like a problem to me so it took a forceful wrench in my stomach to get me to bend over to throw up. The discomfort of vomiting woke me up enough for me to suddenly realize the idiocy of what I had spent my night doing. I came crashing down from the high and allowed myself to sink into the ground to cry. 

When I managed to bring myself together and wipe my face on my shirt I climbed through my window. My cozy bed welcomed me when feet came down on its soft surface. I shut my window behind me and grabbed my pillow. I wrapped my arms around it and squeezed like I was giving someone a hug. 

I barely heard the click of a lock as the gentle creak of a door. If I had been paying attention, I would have realized that it was Angie's. There was a light pitter-patter of feet across the floor and then a soft knock on my door. I wondered what the hell she was doing up and my mood was exasperated by how utterly crappy I felt in general. I didn't want her to see me like this but I could hardly just leave her out in the hall. 

I slid myself off the bed and went to unlock the door. The other side was silent but as soon as the door cracked open and she was able to fling herself into my arms, she burst out in tears. They weren't just any tears. It wasn't the kind that young children often make with sniffling noses. It was the kind that I had made back in Dr. Reid's apartment. 

I swung the door shut so that no one would hear us and held her while she cried. I had a horrible, sinking sensation in my gut that paralyzed me. Tell me it isn't him. Tell me it isn't him. 

"Angie," I said. My voice was shaking and I had to stop before I increased her panic. I held her back at arms length. Her face was tomato red but I could have guessed that. I ran my eyes down the length of her. My pulse went screaming through my veins when I saw the trickle of blood down her leg.

"I was hungry." She sobbed. "You never came home and I just wanted to eat so-"

I pulled back into my chest and squeezed her so hard that she couldn't continue. I couldn't bear to hear it. I held her like that for what felt like an eternity and I came to a decision. We were getting out of there. 

* * *

Angie was on my hip because she cried when she walked. With every step I made with her clinging to my side I thought, its my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault, the whole way there. Now we stood at Dr. Reid's door. When he appeared at the door, it was clear that he had been asleep. It was almost 3 in the morning. I had never come to his apartment so late. 

When he saw me, his response was groggy but clear. He ushered us in. 

I brushed past him and brought Angie to the bathroom without a word or another glance to Dr. Reid. Her were brimmed with tears the whole time but I managed to get her cleaned up. Looking at her wrecked face, I wondered if he had told her she was beautiful too. 

When we returned to the living room there was tea waiting for us. How cute. I situated Angie on the couch and stroked her hair as her trembling hands brought the warm mug to her lips. I sat with her until I couldn't hold myself together anymore. I was wrecked too. 

I slipped off the couch and went swiftly to the hall where no one could see me scratching at my arms and legs until they bled. I couldn't cry. I was beyond that. 

It was several minutes before Dr. Reid came looking for me. I didn't mind. Angie needed the attention more than I did. He leaned against the opposite wall and waited for me to say or do something. I did the only thing I could. I buried my face in his shoulder and let the silence do the rest of the work. He patted my back awkwardly. 

"Can we please just stay with you for a while?" My voice was muffled by his shirt. "Please? I'm sorry it's so late. Please can we stay?" I babbled. He nodded. "Of course." 

* * *

_I opened my eyes at a piercing squealing sound. I was bolt upright in bed in an instant. I squinted my eyes into the darkness and saw a tall figure standing in the doorway holding a bundle in his arms._

_My eyes adjusted slowly to the dim light. I scrambled out of bed and almost fell to the floor when I realized that the figure was Curt. The bundle in his arms was Angie. He had a hand over her mouth but her eyes were wide and she was producing the most desperate shrieks. My knees trembled._

"_Don't hurt her." I said as calmly as I could, holding out my hand. His face contorted into a smile and his white teeth caught the street lights coming through the window._

"_OK." He said almost blithely. And he dropped her. Her tiny body fell through the air and crumpled at his feet. She didn't move. He stepped over her and advanced on me quickly, forcing me back and away from her._

"_I'll just take you instead. She's too small anyway." He sounded positively cheerful as grabbed me with super human speed and forced me face down on the bed. I kicked at him and screamed. "Let me go!" I could see Angie's broken form so still on the floor. I had to help her. I had to get away. I screamed and screamed, praying someone would come and help her, help us._

_I felt a hand on my shoulder but it felt so out of place. "Alex!" The voice sounded panicked. I lashed out at the source of the sound and felt my hand connect with something solid. "Ouch." The voice muttered. "Alex wake up!"_

My eyes flew open and I found myself instantly blinded by the nightlight beside the bed. I raised my fist again, waiting for the offender speak again. A hand caught my wrist. I was about to struggle when I suddenly realized, this isn't my bed. 

I relaxed the tension in my hand and squinted up. It was Dr. Reid. "OK? It's me." When he saw realization come to me, he released my hand, still holding his own up in surrender. "Sorry." I whispered. 

I suddenly panicked. My hand shot out to the left without thinking. Angie. I felt a lump under the blankets and breathed a sigh of relief. I sat up. 

"Nightmare?" He asked. I suddenly noticed how close he was and I backed up to the headboard, drawing my knees to my chest. "Yeah." I muttered, eyeing him suspiciously. I was still half in the dream. 

When he noticed my change in demeanor, he stood up and backed away. "Alright." He said, disappointed. "Sleep well." I nodded. "Sure." I saw a hint of a smile but couldn't be sure. When he left, I slid under the covers and waited held my eyes wide open, fearing what I would see when I closed them. 

* * *

When I lifted my head and squinted my eyes against the sun, I was disorientated. Where was I? I was in a large bed with clean sheets and warm blankets. Snuggled beside me was Angie, her tear stained cheek buried in the pillow, and I remembered. I was at Dr. Reid's. 

He told Angie and me to sleep in his bed and that he would take the couch. At first I refused but he insisted and Angie looked like she could use the sleep. We had all been up until 4 in the morning. I remembered the dream I had had and shuddered. I snuggled with the comforter and felt relief wash over me at not being back _there_ with Curt. But I also remembered that it was too late. He had already gotten to Angie. I squeezed my eyes shut and wished I could just sleep for the next 10 years.

* * *

**A/N:** Hmm, so, do you like it? Thanks so much to those of you who have reviewed so far! Ah, there's so much left to say! It looks like they got out but what will Alex do now? Gee, I guess you'll have to wait and see:)


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Dun dunnn... Guess what finally happens in this chapter!

* * *

I padded toward the kitchen when I finally realized there was no hope of falling asleep for forever. It took me half an hour to come to this conclusion but it was still 7 o-clock when I decided to get up.

I could hear Dr. Reid walking around, clattering dishes as he made coffee. I figured it was better to just get the talk over with before Angie woke up.

He looked up when he heard me coming. "Morning." He said conversationally. "Morning." I said. I settled myself back against the counter and watched him. "Would you like some coffee?" He asked. "Yeah."

He poured me a mug and gave it to me. "So are you going to give me something I can tell social services so that we can get you officially removed from that place?" He asked innocently.

I shrugged. He poured himself a mug and mirrored my stance of leaning against the counter. "How do I know I can trust you? What if you screw me and social services sends me right back there?" I said, feeling pissy. He sipped his coffee and looked unconcerned at my lack of faith in him.

"Sometimes you just have to trust people."

"Who said that?" I asked, expecting him to just say himself.

"Thirteen on House MD." I had nothing to say to that. "You can say it to Hotch or you say it me. Your choice."

"At least Hotch isn't a fucking alcoholic." I muttered off-handedly. My Dad was an alcoholic. My mom was addicted to pills. I don't care about that, but they at the very least didn't hide it if that could ever be a good thing. Dr. Reid went silent.

"What?" I refused to meet his eyes even as they bore into the side of my head. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to lie about it directly. He lifted his arm and pointed to the coins.

"Are you talking about those?" He asked. I nodded. "I'm not an alcoholic." He said softly. I gave a short burst of laughter.

"No? Did you buy those coins on E-bay?" He bowed his head and scratched at it. He looked incredibly uncomfortable and I relished in it.

"I'm not addicted to alcohol, I'm addicted to Dilaudid." I was genuinely taken aback. "What is that?"

"It's like Heroin." He said. I gripped the counter a little harder. I wanted to say something, to do something, but I couldn't breath. FBI agents aren't into Heroin. But he told me. He could have lied. He could have told me anything else and it wouldn't have seemed so bad. But he told me the truth, I just knew it.

"You should have told me." I said finally. Dr. Reid shrugged and his foot began to tap up and down. "I'm not exactly proud of it." He said. "But you hung those coins on the wall." He turned his back on me and walked a few steps away.

"They're a reminder for myself, not for anyone else. It's a reminder of hard it is to be clean." I shook my head, unable to process what he was telling me. This wasn't happening. I had trusted him to some extent but now he seemed just as unstable as the clients my dad hooked me up with. I walked away, leaving him still staring at the wall.

* * *

I came back into the living room an hour later. I had done some thinking. I sat down beside the bed and stroked Angie's hair as she slept. I trusted Dr. Reid enough to bring my little sister here even when I thought he was an alcoholic and hadn't told me. That had to say something about who he was now. He had helped me get through an impossible week even if he hadn't realized it at the time. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. If I can't trust Dr. Reid, then I can't trust anybody.

Dr. Reid looked up as I emerged from the hall. He was packing his briefcase for work. I saw shame in his eyes. Now I felt terrible for making him think that he should be ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Reid." I said. It felt weird to say. It was odd that I could have enough of an impact on him to even justify the need to apologize. The corner of his mouth tugged up.

"I don't think I've ever said this, but don't call me doctor. Just Reid." The corners of my own mouth pulled up and I began to get ready to go to the FBI. I had some explaining to do.

* * *

I stared at the floor of the same interrogation room I had been in the first time I went into the FBI office. A social worker sat across from me. "We need to have a plan." She said. "We're going to need to do an investigation-" I rolled my eyes at that, "- but you and your sister will not be forced to return there. Until then you will be placed with an emergency foster family until we can find a better match."

"I don't want to go to another foster home." I said abruptly. Angie and I had been in 2 different foster homes in 2 weeks and now this women wanted to send us to another one. The social worker didn't miss a beat.

"The alternative is to place you in a group home for the time being." I shook my head. I shuddered at the memory of my most recent experience in a group home. There was no way. The social worker looked frustrated.

"I know you don't want to do this again but we have no choice. You currently have no relatives who are prepared to take you in." That was a nice way of saying it. I shook my head again and kept doing it. The woman sighed.

"We'll figure that out later. We need to transport you and your sister to the hospital to be examined first." I kept shaking my head but now tears were collecting in the corners of my eyes. I knew what that meant. I had been 'examined' two weeks ago when my parents had first been arrested. They poked and prodded me and went in the same private places that the 'bad guys' did then apologized profusely while saying that it was necessary. Never again. And they were going to do the same thing to Angie. She ignored my shaking my head.

"I'm going to talk to your sister and then we'll send you on your way." I came to a cold resolution and looked up at her, finally meeting her eyes.

"I need to talk to her before you do. She'll be scared and she won't know what's going on." The woman nodded. "Fine." I marched out of the room confidently and looked around for Angie. Dr. Reid and the rest of his team were nowhere to be seen. I spotted her by the window on a bench and I took her hand.

"We can go now. They're all done talking to us so we need to leave before we get in their way, OK?" I said. Angie looked relieved to finally be allowed to go. She nodded rapidly and let me lead her to the elevator. 

* * *

**A/N:** I really liked that chapter so I hope you did too! It was fun to write:) Aren't cliff hangers the best? Pretty please review my fanfiction friends...


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Yay! Back with a new chapter! Just so you aren't confused, about halfway through there is a switch to Reid's perspective. Enjoy! 

* * *

I looked back and forth down the street before I gathered the nerve to knock on the door. I made Angie stand against the wall to the left so she couldn't be seen from inside. She complained at having to stand against the ivy that trailed up the side of the building but she hushed when I gave her a warning glance. 

It was a long time before he opened the door but I'll tell you that I really didn't mind. The funny thing is, this was the last place I wanted to be but also my only choice. He was the only person who would take me in off the record, and for good reason. 

When I saw him, an involuntary shudder rippled up my spine. Seeing him did not exactly bring up pleasant memories. His hair was straggly but shiny black like he had just washed it and not bothered to brush it. 

His face changed several times before he spoke. It went from surprise to confusion and then to being pleased. His dark eyes were fixated on mine. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked. He didn't altogether too bad. When I first met him, he drank with my dad all the time. He was my first paid client. Then he started to slow it down with the booze. Last I saw him he had been sober for almost a year. 

"I need a place to crash for a while." I said audaciously. He leaned back and laughed heartily. "Do I come across as a generous man to you?" My request was not as ridiculous as he made it out to be. I had stayed with him a couple times in the past few years when things with my parents heated up. It was a simple arrangement. 

"You get a free hour each night until I leave." He stopped laughing and just gave me an appraising look. He shook his head. "You're crazy but I'm game. Just go to one of them group homes and they'll keep you for free." I shook my head. He studied me over his long nose and shrugged. 

"Fine." He stepped aside to let me in. I didn't move. "Another thing, my sister is staying too and you won't touch her or I'll call the cops on you." He held up his hands. "Geez, you drive a hard bargain." He mocked. I popped my hip and waited for him to cave. 

He waved me in. "Whatever, get in." I shoved my hand toward him and waited for him to shake it. I wasn't budging until he did. He laughed me off but shook my hand anyway. Men like him don't think a girl's word is worth anything. I'd show him if he tried to weasel out of the deal. 

* * *

**At the Bureau**: **Reid**

"Did you sleep at all last night?" Morgan asked, raising his eyebrows at my yawning. 

"I did, actually." I said. I gulped down the last bit of coffee in my mug. 

"Yeah? For how long?" 

"Three hours." Morgan rolled his eyes. He went to spoon sugar into his own coffee but stopped when he realized the bowl was empty. "Seriously? That can't be healthy." 

"Ostriches only sleep for 15 minutes at a time and 5 hours in a day. If you count the hours of sleep I'll get by the end of the day, I'm really not far behind." He threw his hands up in surrender and backed away. He turned to the counter and poured honey into his coffee instead of sugar. 

"So you were up with that girl? It's kind of funny that she latched on to you of all people." I opened my mouth wide in mock offense. "I guess I'm just more approachable than you or Hotch." 

"Or Emily and JJ?" I shrugged. He had a point. "She never really talked to them." Morgan nodded like he was totally convinced. "Speaking of which, where is she?" Morgan asked. 

"She's talking to the social worker. They're probably going to place her in another home." Morgan frowned and looked down from over the railing. "The door is open and I don't see anybody in there." I took a look for myself and saw that he was right. Neither Alex nor her sister were anywhere to be seen. The social worker was storming back and forth down the office. 

Morgan and exchanged a glance and I quickly made my way down the stairs. The social worker was young and looked frustrated. Her dark ponytail swung side to side as strode toward me. 

"Do you know where that girl is?" She demanded. I shook my head. "I thought she was with you." I said. JJ made her way over when she saw the distraught social worker talking to me. 

"Excuse me, is everything alright?" JJ asked in her ridiculously calm voice. The social worker twirled the ends of her hair with her finger and avoided JJ's eyes like she had done something wrong. 

"I just told her to go get her sister. Now she's gone. She needs to go to the hospital before any remaining evidence is contaminated." I opened my mouth furiously to tell her off for treating Alex like evidence but I felt Morgan's hand on my arm and shut up. 

"Ok." JJ said reasonably, "We'll just have to find her." 

* * *

**Two Days Later**

It was only as a favor to me that Hotch agreed to let the team try to locate her. She was a runaway, this countries had millions of runaways, but I felt I had an obligation to her. She came to me when she needed help. She trusted me enough to do that. Now it was my turn to return the favor. 

The past two days had been nearly as restless as the one just prior to her disappearance. Garcia deserved the credit for much of the work. I sat with her for hours while she watched the endless footage of surveillance cameras from the lobby and nearby businesses but even after I left, she kept working. We saw Alex and her sister last on the cameras of a bank a few streets down and then lost track of her. 

She didn't want our help. She wanted to just do things her way like she had all her life; by herself. So in a way, my "favor" was in vain. She didn't want it. But I couldn't let her go and get herself hurt. 

Garcia checked the records on all the shelters and group homes in the city but Alex's name never showed up. She didn't have a car, credit card, or even any ID on her so she would be as hard to trace as a homeless person. The only thing is, she hadn't been on the street long enough for anyone to be able to recognize her. 

The fact that she had her sister with her made it all even more confusing. I knew from the night that she came to me with Angie, her cheeks tearstained, that she would never risk her little sister's safety. I knew that she didn't trust the system (how could she after everything that she had been through?) but she had to realize that almost anything was safer than being two young girls on the street. 

It was on the third day that we finally made a break through. It was on no account of mine or anyone else's on the team that we found her. It was sheer luck. I was sitting on a chair beside Garcia's, staring over her shoulder and rotating lightly back and forth, when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I answered. 

"Hello? This is Dr. Reid speaking." I said. There was a pause on the other end of the line and then a woman's voice came through over the phone. "Hi Dr. Reid." She said kindly. "A young girl and her sister came into the clinic a few hours ago. The older one wouldn't talk to us but she gave us this number to call. Are you family?" 

I was completely frozen. I gaped into the phone. Garcia was now watching me, her fingers running over her feather pen anxiously. "What is it?" Garcia hissed. I shook my head. "Is her name Alex? Blond hair, about 5'4?" Garcia's eyes widened as she realized what was happening. There was a crinkling of paper in my ear. "Uh, yes, that matches the description. She hasn't given us her name. The younger one's name is Angie. She's talking plenty but we aren't getting anything coherent from her. What is your relation?" 

I didn't know what to say. I choked on my words. "I'm with the FBI. The girl is a friend of mine. She's been missing for several days. Is she alright?" The woman sounded surprised. "Oh, my. Well, she is at the St Anne's hospital. I'd rather talk to you in person. She will have to stay overnight but please do come by. Poor girl needs a friend." I nodded anxiously before realizing that the woman couldn't see me. "Right, of course. I'll be there soon." 

I hung up and looked at Penelope, still in shock. "She's at the hospital." 

* * *

**A/N:** So what do you think? Was Reid's perspective OK? I know the ending there was a little cruel but don't worry, I'll update soon. Thanks for the comments and follows guys! It means a lot:)


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Hi there, another chapter! Sorry for leaving you hanging there! Hope you like the chapter... 

* * *

**Reid**

I was tapping my hand neurotically on the counter as I asked for Alex and Angie. The nurse at the desk eyed my hand pointedly but I couldn't stop tapping. Morgan stood behind me, giving me space. Hotch, Garcia, Emily, and JJ were huddled to either side of him looking awkward and out of place. 

None of them had realized the extent to which my relationship with Alex had gone and honestly, I hadn't either. Hotch gave me a disapproving eye when he found out that Alex had been visiting my apartment but now he was beginning to understand. 

The nurse thumbed through a file and then gestured for me to follow her. "I'll take you to a private waiting room. They are currently administering a rape kit but you can see her soon." I ran forward and grabbed the woman's arm. "What?" I said. The nurse shrugged me off. "The patient has given us permission to relay medical information to you but we really don't know what happened. The only thing that's clear is that she was raped. She's giving us a hard time with the kit." 

I let my hand fall to my side. Had something else happened or was this about her foster father? The nurse deposited the team and I in a waiting room and closed the door. I looked to Hotch, searching for words. "I let her down." 

**Alex**

It took them good and long to collect their precious evidence. I screeched at them and kicked up a storm. They refused to hold me down but they just wouldn't leave. I finally lost the heart and stopped fighting. They couldn't hurt me more than I had been. 

The first thing they asked me was where my parents were. I just shook my head. Then they asked if there was anyone else I wanted them to contact. I reached my fumbling hand into my pocket and pressed Reid's card into a nurse's hand. They asked me over and over to tell them my name, how old I was, what had happened, anything. I refused, just drifting into a little place in my mind where I was alone. 

Angie was shouting like a little firecracker at the nurses. She told them to just get on with it and fix me. They tried to get Angie to tell them more about me but I shook my head at her and she didn't tell them anything. She was scared out of her mind but she was my trooper. 

The nurses didn't know what to do with me. They saw the bruises on my face and arms but couldn't determine what the cause was. The doctor guessed it was child-abuse and took me to an exam room. When I couldn't sit down, the doctor figured it out and ordered a rape kit be administered. 

When they finally finished with the exam, they led me to a room. They tried to put me in a wheelchair but I wouldn't let them. Angie clung onto my hand as soon as they let her at me and wouldn't let go. She settled onto the hospital bed beside me. A nurse sat next to me on a chair and tried to coax me to talk. I ignored her. Someone came in after the nurse gave up and told me I had visitors. She wanted to know if I wanted to take them. I thought about it. I don't know why I ever gave them Reid's number but he already knew I was here. Visitors plural though? Who else had come? 

I shrugged in agreement. I saw Dr. Reid through the blinds before he saw me. He was looking back and forth, evidently searching for me. The nurse pushed him along and he stepped into my room. 

I probably looked like hell. My hands were white and shaking and my hair felt like a snarled mess. I had nothing to offer but a watery grimace. 

I couldn't tell if he was upset or seriously pissed off. I faltered and lost the hint of a grin in an instant. When he spoke he sounded like he was floating dangerously on the edge of loosing his cool. "Hello Alex." I grabbed a fistful of bed sheet and twisted it. I was feeling a little less glad to see him by the moment. 

I felt the pull of a dark hole threatening to drag me under. My lower lip began to tremble. He was mad at me. I had lost him. I had nothing. There was no where to go. All of this crossed my mind as he stood before me, unmoving. He bit his own lip like he was trying not to be cry. There was nothing to say. 

"Excuse me." He said, and he bolted out the door. Everyone was gone. No one was there to see the tears running down my face. 

* * *

It was an hour before another agent showed their face. I didn't mind. I had Angie. The blond woman from the FBI peered around the door. "Hi sweetheart, my name is JJ, we met at office. How are you doing?" She came the rest of the way in and sat slowly in the chair by my bed. I turned my head to face the opposite direction but didn't want to scare Angie who was still balled up beside me. 

JJ leaned forward over her knees to try to look into my face when I didn't respond. She addressed Angie instead of me. "Would you mind if your sister and I talked alone?" She asked softly. Angie looked up at me but didn't move. I nodded to her. Angie slid off the bed and eyed JJ nervously as she swept past her. The woman with dark who Reid had referred to as Emily was waiting in the door and guided her away. 

"I know you don't want to talk about this, but we really need to know what happened so that it won't happen again." A short burst of air escaped my nose. It wouldn't happen again, that's for sure. "Do you not believe me?" She asked, incorrectly reading my breath of laughter. 

I looked into her eyes and tried to discern what I saw there. Everything about her seemed genuine enough, but she didn't understand. I should never have let it happen in the first place. It was my fault for thinking I could do better for Angie and myself than the state could. I wasn't even better than that. She looked right back at me. 

"Would you rather talk to Spencer?" I was surprised at the sound of his first name. It sounded too youthful, too innocent to be describing the man I had come to know. I suddenly realized that maybe I didn't know him so well after all. What did I really know about him other than his love of Poker and his addiction to Dilaudid? What a hell of a combination of things to know about someone. I knew there was more to him than that. He was too kind to be a product of those things. I felt a horrible sinking feeling when I remembered that he might not even want to give me the chance to get to know him. 

"He doesn't want to talk to me." I rasped. I had tried to speak with my full voice but it came out like a whisper. JJ frowned and shook her head. "No," she said, letting the word drag out. "Of course he does." I searched her eyes, wondering if she even believed herself. She looked at the floor so she didn't have to meet my eyes. She was skeptical at best. "It's true." came a voice from the door. I drew my eyes toward the source of the voice and saw Reid. His eyes were dark inset and his hair was mangled like he had run his hand through too many times. 

* * *

**A/N:** So what did you think? In the coming chapters there will be more of the team which _I _am excited about. I like where this is going to go soon (can you guess?). Thanks for those of you who are sticking with me! Please reviewreviewreview thanks. :)


End file.
